A trauma is an event that feels like an intense threat and causes lasting emotional distress. You may be involved in that event or witness it.

Even though families generally try to keep their children safe, research suggests that more than half of Canadian children and youth will experience a potentially traumatic event before adulthood.

Trauma can be caused by a single event like a fire, assault, car accident or the death of a loved one. Trauma can also be caused when you are exposed to very distressing events repeatedly. If a caregiver or family member experienced trauma in the past, the effect of this trauma may be passed on so that a child or youth may be affected by trauma that they have not directly witnessed or experienced. This is often called “intergenerational trauma”.

It is important to remember that events affect people in different ways. The trauma is not the event that happened, but the way that the child or youth felt about it. A small event for one person may be traumatic to another. Also, the more trauma someone experiences, the smaller their ‘Window of Tolerance’ may be. This means they may negatively react to events that they could once handle.

Children and youth are resilient; many can heal from a distressing event without long-lasting symptoms. But some develop emotional disorders when their brains and bodies are overwhelmed and cannot cope. These disorders are called trauma-related disorders and can take many forms including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Healing depends on many factors, including the type of trauma, the person, the family system and community factors. If the child or youth feels safe and supported, many can heal from trauma-related disorders without any formal treatment. However, if the disorder remains untreated, it can have a negative impact on a child or youth’s social, emotional and physical development.

You may have experienced the trauma with your child, or they may have experienced it alone. Either way, traumatic experiences tend to impact the whole family. It’s easiest to support children and youth if their caregivers are also well-supported. Parents and family members can explore options that attend to their own mental wellness, including but not limited to counselling, medical care, peer support, engaging with community and culture, and practicing self-care.

There can be a wide range of reactions to a trauma depending on the child or youth and the traumatic event. Trauma responses often change over time. These reactions can start right after the trauma, or months or even years later. If you are a caregiver, it may be hard to know if these later reactions are new or possibly trauma-related. That is OK. If you notice your child struggling following a potentially traumatic event, consider seeking support.

After the trauma, watch your child or youth for possible signs of trauma, listed below.

While many children and youth will experience a traumatic event, few will develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, children and youth may experience other trauma-related symptoms or disorders that can cause intense distress and affect their daily lives.

Look for support if you are concerned about a child or youth who has experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. The challenges can start right after the trauma or be delayed. Sometimes trauma responses can look like or happen at the same time as other mental health concerns. A qualified health professional may be able to help identify and treat a child or youth’s needs.

Parent and caregiver support is one of the most powerful tools to address trauma. When a child or youth has been affected by a traumatic event, it may lead to a loss of their sense of safety and trust. It is important to first make sure the child or youth is no longer in any danger, and to ensure they know they are safe and that you are there to help. That will help them feel calm and more in control. You can start by letting your child know that you understand their feelings and support them unconditionally. This support can also help your child cope with past or current traumas or stressors. Children and youth benefit from opportunities to build trusting relationships and a sense of belonging (to their supportive family, cultural identity, spiritual or other supportive community). Parents and caregivers may want to seek their own parenting support from professionals.

If the traumatic stress is affecting your child’s school or social life, or causing distress, try to get support from a mental health professional.

•    Develop and keep the same routines (morning, school, homework, bedtime) and plan for times when there will be a change or transition (getting to school, visiting relatives).
•    Help your child learn about and name feelings, pay attention to your child’s feelings and teach your child to name them.
•    Try to maintain a calm and open way of being with your child, even when they are in distress.
•    Ask your child what helps them feel calm. Try to practice these strategies during calm moments so they can use them effectively in times of distress.
•    Help your child focus on the here and now (ask the child or youth to describe what they hear, see, smell, etc.).
•    Be realistic about what to expect from your child given their age and developmental stage.
•    Model healthy problem solving and coping mechanisms
•    Praise and reward your child’s efforts to cope with trauma and stress.
•    Take care of your own needs – get support by talking to others, asking for help when you need it, and walk away or take breaks from emotionally charged situations if you need to.

Healthy living & healthy coping skills

• Some children benefit from changes to their sleep, activity levels, eating habits, stress management, social connections, and technology use.
• It can be very helpful to learn skills for dealing with emotions. This might include identifying soothing activities the child or youth enjoys, breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, or grounding techniques. Short guided exercises are available for free in the Breathr App to help address stress and you can do these with your child or they can do them on their own.
  • Please note: Mindfulness skills can be helpful for people with trauma-related disorders. But sometimes certain mindfulness exercises can increase symptoms for some people so it’s important to seek guidance from a mental health professional.
• A child or youth may use unhealthy ways to cope after a traumatic event. This may include disordered eating, exercising too much, substance use, self-harm, or overuse of videogames or social media. In these instances, it helps to learn what healthy coping skills they have, or are open to trying, and encourage those.  For example: sports, time with friends, music or art. Helping children and youth build healthy coping strategies is an important part of helping them let go of unhealthy coping skills. It can be helpful to get professional support if your child develops unhealthy coping strategies.

School

If your child is struggling in school, they may need extra support from staff and other school personnel. With consent, it might be helpful to share your child’s diagnosis or symptoms and how these may impact their school performance. It’s important to only share information that is needed and that your child is comfortable sharing. A letter from a doctor or other professional may help to advocate for accommodations at school for your child if needed. 

Types of treatment for children and youth impacted by trauma

There are many therapies and treatments that can be helpful for children and youth impacted by trauma. 

• Therapy

Working with a mental health professional can help you and your child process the trauma and learn coping skills. Some examples include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
  • Trauma-focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) 
    • Culturally Responsive Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CR-CBT) 
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) 
  • Emotion Focused Family Therapy
  • Family Therapies 
  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
  • Play Therapy 

• Medications

While counselling and social support are the most important treatment tools for trauma-related disorders, medications can help some specific trauma-related symptoms, such as nightmares or other sleep difficulties. Medications can also be helpful to treat other emotional challenges which can often also be present among children and youth with trauma-related disorders (for example: anxiety, depression, explosive anger and others).

• Self-care for parents and caregivers

Parenting is really important work and can be particularly challenging when a child or youth is struggling with trauma-related difficulties that lead to increased strain in the parent-child relationship. It’s important to look after yourself. You can best support a child or youth if you look after your own physical and mental health, and this also provides a healthy example of self-care for your child to follow. Reach out for support from family, friends, community members, or health professionals.

It can be helpful to remember that while potentially traumatic experiences are common and can sometimes lead to a lot of distress and challenges, effective treatments exist. Unfortunately, the traumatic experience cannot be deleted from a person’s past. Fortunately, it does not need to define their future. There is opportunity for growth and learning after a trauma. This process can be empowering for children and youth who may become more resilient, self-aware, and socially connected. Listen to our podcast episode for tips on Helping Kids Grow Through What They Go Through.

If traumatic stress is affecting your child’s school, family or social life, or causing distress, it’s time to get support from a professional.

Talk to your doctor and get help from a mental health professional by:

• Getting a mental health assessment and support through your local Child and Youth Mental Health team (through a CYMH intake clinic in your community)
• Contacting your Employee Assistance Plan (EAP), if you have this option
• First Nations peoples can access counselling through First Nations Health Authority’s registered mental health providers list.
• Contacting a private psychologist or counsellor

Looking for more information on this topic? Connect with a family peer support worker at the Kelty Centre to discover additional resources, learn more about support and treatment options, or just to find a listening ear.