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In early August, as the back to school signs begin to pop up in stores, I am reminded that there are only a few weeks left in our summer before we begin the transition to a new school year. As a parent of two, I find myself experiencing mixed emotions.
Part of me feels a bit sad, as the summer has offered a more relaxed schedule (minus a few weeks of early morning starts at day camps), opportunities to try new activities together, visits with family and friends, and for us ice-cream on summer patios. The other part of me however can feel anxious and overwhelmed by a variety of worries as the first day draws near, including:
- Will my kids be treated well by others? Will they be bullied? Have I taught them how to protect themselves?
- How will my child adjust to new teachers, classroom environments?
- Will my kids continue to enjoy school, be curious and want to learn? Will they meet the basic performance milestones for their age in the classroom?
- How will I support and encourage them to take risks and practice age appropriate independence?
- How can I get them to talk about their feelings on the good days and challenging ones? Do they have coping strategies that can get them through the stressful moments?
In these moments, I literally say out loud – ‘STOP’ a technique I learned to interrupt my negative thoughts and catastrophizing. I pause, take a few deep breaths and instead start thinking how can I best help prepare my child, my family and myself for a new school year. And here’s what that experience looks like:
For me:
- Schedule time in my calendar to take care of myself. I actually begin planning things in early August for September, October and onwards. I schedule walks with a friend, phone calls with family, dancing in my kitchen to my latest favourite song, picking out a new book at the library, once/week early bedtimes, etc. Knowing that I do better supporting my kids when I have made my own well-being a priority is helpful for me. Read here for some examples that might resonate with you.
- Review resources to help me get organized. AnxietyBC has a number of great resources for parents to help you prepare for the school year. Check out their Back-to-School Checklist and video on separation anxiety (for younger kids)
As a family:
- Look for opportunities to support a healthy lifestyle where and when we can. Being active, eating and sleeping well are essential for our family to have the energy we all need to keep us going.
- Model and practice healthy ways to tackle stress. The start of a new school year is a great time for families to develop or revisit ways to recognize and help manage stress. Check out Stresslr.ca a BC Children’s Hospital online resource for younger kids that offers belly breathing and muscle relaxation videos. Breathr is a great app developed for youth, by youth to help manage stress.
- Work together to establish new routines. Two weeks before the start of school I gradually shift back to our “school days” routine – consistent and earlier wake up times, age appropriate independence which in our house includes getting dressed, making your bed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, packing bag/lunch, reviewing and practicing walking or drive route, etc.
- Talk time. Create time for kids to talk about their feelings around starting a new school year. If you have younger kids, head to your local library and take out some books on back-to-school. Reading together often serves as a great conversation starter. With my youth, I tend to be curious and save these types of questions for car rides, or when we’re doing something fun together, like family video games.
- Schedule in fun and relaxation time. Just as we schedule time for homework, arts, clubs, sports, etc., we schedule in activities that will offer connection and down time. Connection with 1-2 caring adults in a child’s life can be a protective factor and support mental well-being.
- Learn more about school-related anxiety. If your child experiences anxiety related to going back to school or can find it challenging to stay at school, listen to our Where You Are Podcast on this topic that offers helpful tips for parents and caregivers.
For kids:
- Heading off to Kindergarten. Expose them to their new school, routine and relationships well before school begins. In August, head over to the school to play on the playground (let them master and build confidence and familiarity with this activity), schedule and take them for a tour inside their school, show them where their classroom is, the main office, say hi to the principal/their teacher, show them where the washrooms are and let them use them, review the gradual entry schedule, plan a special activity to celebrate them attending on their first day and their first week.
- In elementary school. In addition to any of the suggestions above, schedule playdates in the weeks leading up to school so they can reconnect with friends, have a calendar that shows when the first day of school is so they can see it coming, perhaps plan to walk to school with one of their friend’s families so they can arrive together. And of course celebrate them attending their first day and week too.
- Heading to middle and high school. Transitions into or heading back to school at this stage can bring big moments for kids and families. Learn more about supporting school transitions for tweens and teens.
Other helpful resources to support your child heading back to school:
- Webinar Recording: Back to School: How To Promote Resilience and Set Your Kids Up For Success
- Rolling with ADHD: A suite of free online resources for parents & caregivers, teens and school professionals