Be honest
Tell your child the truth in words they understand. This may help to lower feelings of fear or anxiety. Children and youth can often tell that something is wrong, and may have trouble trusting you if they feel like you aren’t being honest. Answer their questions as best you can and if you don't know the answer say that you don't know.
Listen
Make time to listen to your child's thoughts, feelings and opinions. Be open minded. Encourage your child to express their memories, fears, sorrows, relief, regrets, anger and guilt. Talking won't make them feel worse. Let them know that strong feelings are normal and it's okay to grieve.
Encourage and reassure
Validate their feelings. Activities like storytelling and play help younger children express themselves. They may have very real fears about death and abandonment and they may wonder who will take care of them. For older youth and young adults, let them know they may experience a wide range of emotions. Give them permission to laugh and feel happy if they want to.
Model healthy ways to grieve
Children and youth learn from parents and others close to them so it’s important to look at your own behaviour and think about what they may be learning from you. Talk about your feelings and accept support when you need it. If you show grief, it helps your child understand that it's okay to show grief. It also helps them see that everyone grieves differently. But be self-aware, extreme emotions can be stressful for a child and make them feel that they need to take care of you.
Prepare and educate
Help children or youth prepare for new situations like visiting a loved one in the hospital or going to a memorial service. Talk about what they will see and what will happen so they know what to expect.
Include them
Let your child decide how involved they want to be. Some children and youth may want to visit a loved one in the hospital or go to a memorial service, but others will not. Parents can also help by including their children when they talk about an expected loss, like when a relative is very sick.
Let young people find help
Young people may prefer to talk with someone outside of their family who may listen more objectively and with less emotion. This may help the teen work through their own feelings.
Keep the topic open
Grieving takes time. Your child may re-experience loss during holidays or other important times. Let them know they can talk about their feelings no matter how much time has passed.