School Professionals

Suicide

*If your child or youth is at immediate riskif they have done something to try and kill themselves or they are threatening to do socall 911 or go to the local hospital. 


What is Suicide?

Suicide is not an easy subject to talk about and it can be very difficult to learn that a loved one is struggling with thoughts of suicide, particularly when it’s a child or youth in your life. While suicide can seem scary and overwhelming, it’s helpful to remember it’s not shameful or unusual for families or communities to experience. If you or someone in your life is having thoughts of suicide, you are not alone.

In most cases, having thoughts of suicide is not about wanting to die; it is about wanting the pain to stop. When a person is having thoughts of suicide, they are likely feeling so much emotional pain they are unable to see other options. Often, they feel they are a burden to others, and are filled with a sense of worthlessness, self-hatred, rejection, orhopelessness. While they may not be conscious of it, people who are struggling with suicide are trying to let others know they need help and are looking for other options instead of suicide.

While most young people who have thoughts of suicide don’t act on them, it’s important to take all thoughts of suicide seriously. It’s not useful to try to determine whether someone’s thoughts of suicide are “real”. It is also not helpful to disregard thoughts of suicide as ‘manipulative’ or ‘just a cry for help’. Take this as an opportunity to recognize that they are struggling, and an opportunity to access more support.

A person can have different reasons for having thoughts of suicide, and these may change over time. It is important to remember:

  • suicide affects young people from all social, economic and cultural backgrounds
  • it is complex and no single factor causes someone to think about suicide.
  • in many cases, thoughts of suicide are linked to other mental health challenges, such as depression and anxiety
  • there is no one type of person who thinks about suicide, and parents/caregivers are not to blame
  • talking about suicide openly and social connection are key to prevention

Suicidal thoughts can happen once in a while or regularly over a long period of time. People who get through periods of suicidal thinking say that talking openly about their thoughts was helpful, as well as being able to connect with resources that helped them deal with the underlying issues.

How do I know if it's suicide?

Most of the time, if someone is having thoughts of suicide, they will try to tell someone. However, because of the shame, stigma and fear surrounding suicide, they are usually careful about who and how they “tell.” It’s natural for parents and others to miss that a child or youth is struggling with suicide, or to dismiss or avoid the signs because they are unsure of what to do and are not sure if it’s about suicide. Consider the following situations:

You’ve been noticing changes in your 15-year-old. They are much more argumentative, withdrawing from social activities and resisting school. You’ve noticed they aren’t hanging around with their established group of friends and their writing is darker and more preoccupied with death.

Your usually confident 19-year-old in first year university is having panic attacks and not getting the grades they used to. You notice they’re drinking more alcohol, have started drinking alone in their room and are avoiding school.

These situations may seem like common adolescent behaviours. However, they may also be the signs that a young person is thinking of suicide. In both of these situations, thoughts of suicide may be present, or they may not.

Trust your instincts. Does your child or youth seem different? Is something about their behaviour troubling? Seek support if you are unsure. Pay attention to the signs that someone may be thinking of suicide.

Behaviours, especially changes in behaviour, that are linked to suicidal thoughts may include:

  • mood changes, for example sad when they are usually happy, getting angry, annoyed easily, being really happy when they are usually down
  • withdrawing from friends and activities they used to enjoy
  • increased and/or heavy use of alcohol or other drugs or substances
  • reckless risk taking, such as doing dangerous stunts, driving while drunk
  • engaging in self-injury
  • increased irritability or aggressiveness
  • skipping school
  • overly preoccupied with death and suicide (for example writing about it, drawing pictures about death)
  • body language—even if they say they’re fine, they may show their true thoughts and feelings through their gestures and facial expressions

Things you hear them say that may be linked to suicidal thoughts include:

  • Talking or joking about suicide: “I just want to off myself.”
  • “I wish I was dead.”
  • “Nothing will ever get better.”
  • “Nothing ever goes right for me.”
  • “What’s the point in anything anymore?”
  • “All of my problems will end soon.”
  • “No one can help me.”

This is a list of common signs.  What’s most important is to notice any worrisome changes, regardless of whether they are on this list. Trust your instincts.

What can be done?

Once you’ve recognized signs that suicide may be something your child or youth is thinking about, the next step is to make space for a conversation about what you’re noticing. Honest, respectful dialogue and support are key to preventing suicide. Opening up the lines of communication is the first step in helping a loved one.

  • Acknowledge that you’re worried and let them know why you are concerned. Ask open-ended questions to help them talk about what’s going on for them, such as “I’ve noticed you are feeling sad quite a bit. Can we talk about what’s going on?
  • Ask about suicide directly, showing care and concern.Let them know what you’ve noticed that has you concerned they might be thinking about suicide. “You seem really down and are talking a lot about feeling worthless. I heard you say you wish you were dead. Sometimes when people are feeling this way, they are thinking of suicide. Are you thinking about suicide?”
  • Asking about suicide in this way shows that you are paying attention, that you care and that you are taking the situation seriously. It will not give them the idea and does not increase the risk of a suicide attempt.

If you notice the signs of suicide, but feel that you cannot ask them directly about suicide, please reach out to a family member, friend, suicide help line or professional agency for support. It’s important a caring adult opens up a safe, supportive conversation with them about the possibility of suicide and helps them build a plan for safety.


What to do if your child or youth says they are having thoughts of suicide

  • Take a deep breath and stay calm. Tell your child or youth that you are glad they told you.Take them seriously.
  • Listen carefully and without judgement to what they say, even if it’s difficult to hear about or understand fully. 
  • Let them speak without interruption. Try not to fix their problems or provide counselling.
  • Ask if they have a suicide plan. People are usually at higher risk if they have a specific plan.
  • Encourage your child or youth to talk to a mental health professional. “I’m glad we are talking about this. Let’s look together for a professional that can help.”

If your child or youth does not want to talk to a mental health professional, let them know why it’s important and tell them in a caring way that you need to do so regardless. “I hear that you don’t think you need to talk with a professional, however, it’s really important so I can help support you better, and so we’re not alone in this. It really matters.”

Stay with your child or youth if they are feeling unsafe. If they have a safety plan, review the strategies for keeping safe with them.

*If you feel they are at immediate risk of harm or suicide, please call 911 or take your child or youth to the nearest hospital. Do not drive them if they are violent or may interfere with the safe operation of your vehicle. In this situation, call 911.


What can be done about suicidal thoughts and behaviours?

Mental Health professionals, such as a clinical counsellor, can conduct an assessment and develop a plan for safety, which will include things that a person can do to help themselves cope, as well as ongoing resources to address the problems underlying their thoughts of suicide. If there are mental health challenges, medications and treatments, such as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), can be used which have shown good success in dealing with mental health challenges and thoughts of suicide. In many cases, there is no ‘magic pill’ or easy solution that makes suicidal thoughts go away. Likely recovery will take time, and there may be continued suicidal thoughts. Be aware of ongoing suicidal thoughts and be prepared to ask about suicide as needed. 

For more guidance in carrying out a conversation with a child or youth about suicide, visit this online resource: How to talk to a child or youth about suicide, by The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.


Tips for Caregivers

It’s natural to feel shocked, confused, guilty, frustrated or angry when you find out someone you love is thinking of suicide. While attending to the emotional needs of a young person in our life, we might overlook our own well-being. Supporting someone with thoughts of suicide isn’t something to deal with on your own. Be realistic and acknowledge boundaries in your role as a parent, guardian or caregiver. You may find talking to someone you trust particularly helpful—a friend, partner or mental health professional. If you’d rather keep things private, you can also get support from telephone services, such as 1-800-763-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE), a local crisis line or a counsellor through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) or privately.

It can be helpful to take some time out for yourself to do the things that make you feel comforted. It may feel selfish, but it’s important to remember that you’re best able to support others when you’re taking care of yourself. Showing the child or youth in your life that you’re willing and open to look after yourself and get help through a tough time models the importance of seeking help and prioritizing mental health and self-care. As practicing self-care often includes connection with friends, family, pets, spiritual practice or time in nature, this also models the value of connectedness, which is shown to be linked to overcoming thoughts of suicide.

*If your child or youth is at immediate riskif they have done something to try and kill themselves or they are threatening to do socall 911 or go to the local hospital.


If it is not an immediate emergency, there are other options for support.  If possible, seek agreement from the child or youth in your life to get help from another source. 

  • Connect with a mental health professional. Check out the Help Finder tool to find mental health services in your community.
  • Call the BC Suicide Helpline 1-800-763-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE).This service is available 24 hours, seven days a week across the province.  This free service is a priority line answered by staff or volunteer crisis responders that provides safety planning and follow-up support to help with short-term safety while connecting them to longer-term resources. You can phone yourself or with your child or youth.
  • If you have access to a family doctor, book an appointment, and if possible attend with your child or youth.

Seek your child/youth’s help in finding professional support, if possible. Suggest resources and ask them what they feel would be most helpful for them.  It is important to remember that having thoughts of suicide can be a common experience and that accessing support and building positive, life-affirming connections are important to help prevent thoughts from becoming actions. 

Bringing Mental Health to Schools: A Curriculum Resource for Grades 8–10
A self-guided, fully online, classroom ready, modular mental health curriculum resource for grades 8-10.
Pinwheel Education Series: Eating Disorders & Substance Use Recording
On Tuesday April 24th, 2018 experts explored the connection between eating disorders and substance use, the impacts on child and youth mental health, as well as strategies and resources available for families and caregivers to best support their loved ones and themselves. Listen to the recording of the event.
Child and Youth Mental Health Quick Reference Sheet for Educators
A list of the top websites, books, videos, toolkits and support services.
Pinwheel Education Series Recording: Back to School Anxiety
Audio recording of Back to School Anxiety Pinwheel, August 2017.

Beyond the Blues: The Hidden Depression in Children & Youth

Date: 
23 November 2017 - 6:00pm - 8:00pm
Location: 
The Chan Centre Auditorium | Child & Family Research Institute Building, BC Children's & Women's Hospital
950 West 28 Avenue
Vancouver, British Columbia V5Z 4H4 49° 14' 44.5812" N, 123° 7' 25.0824" W

 

 

MISSED THE EVENT? NOT TO WORRY! 
You can view our webcast at anytime here:  bit.ly/watchbtbonline
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-

 

Cost: 

Free!

Speakers: 

Dr. Ashley Miller, MDCM,FRCPC. Dr. Miller is a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist in the Mood and Anxiety Disorders Clinic at BC Children's Hospital and a Clinical Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at UBC. She runs groups for teens with depression and caregiver groups for families of children and teens with mental health issues. Dr. Miller is co-director of the Family Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy training programs for UBC psychiatry residents. She is a passionate advocate for family and caregiver involvement in the mental health treatment of children and youth. 

Read More

Pinwheel Education Series: Trans Youth Mental Health

Date: 
24 October 2017 - 12:00pm - 1:00pm
Location: 
Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre
Room P3-306, Mental Health Building #85, BC Children’s Hospital
Vancouver, British Columbia V6H 3N1 49° 14' 41.7084" N, 123° 7' 35.9688" W

Trans* youth are more likely to face discrimination, prejudice, and exclusion than their cis youth peers. As a result, trans* youth often face mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and trauma. Join our panel as they discuss the best ways to support trans* youth through their mental health journey. 

Cost: 

Free!

Speakers: 

Speakers TBA!

Read More

Health Literacy Team & Kelty Centre Updates

The BC Children's Hospital Health Literacy Team and the Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre have a lot going on these days and we want to share it all with you!

We've developed a new app and have a lot of upcoming events and opportunities for schools, communities, and youth on the horizon. Read on below for more info! 

Read More

How Does Internet Use Affect Girls’ and Women’s Body Esteem?

The way we engage with each other is changing, or perhaps it is safe to say that it has changed. Social media and internet use is a large part of western culture and there is no going back. We are bombarded daily by images, posts, and tweets from our social network. We know more about friends’ daily lives than ever before. Is all this information a good thing?

Read More

International-Self Care Day

Today is International Self-Care Day, which aims to raise public awareness of the importance of self-care to stay healthy and prevent or delay illness.

Read More

BC Children's Hospital

This is an agency of Provincial Health Services Authority, providing provincial tertiary mental health services to the citizens of British Columbia. Programs include: Adult Tertiary Psychiatry, Geriatric Psychiatry, Forensic Psychiatric Services, Child & Adolescent Mental Health, Women’s Reproductive Mental Health, as well as the Provincial Specialized Eating Disorders Program for children and youth located at the BC Children’s Hospital.

Provincial Health Services Authority

Provincial Health Services Authority (PHSA) is one of six health authorities – the other five health authorities serve geographic regions of BC.

Ministry of Health

British Columbia Ministry of Health

RBC Children's Mental Health Project

RBC Children’s Mental Health Project is RBC's cornerstone “health and wellness” pillar; RBC Children’s Mental Heath Project is a multi-year philanthropic commitment to support community-based and hospital programs that reduce stigma, provide early intervention and increase public awareness about children’s mental health issues.

BC Children's Hospital Foundation

Through a wide range of fundraising events and opportunities, The BC Children's Hospital Foundation is united with its donors by a single, simple passion - to improve the health and the lives of the young people who enter BC Children's Hospital every day.