Stress management is often discussed in terms of adaptive coping. We are taught that stress is a normal part of life and we must teach children to cope with it. Yet Self-Reg tells us that stress management is not just a question of coping but also a question of managing energy flow and recovering the energy expended in dealing with stressors. Moreover, coping, which often involves exerting self-control, uses considerable amounts of a child's energy. If we can not reduce stressors and break stress cycles that affect our children they will becontinually draining their energy coping with an excessive stress load. Shanker Self-Reg®, a powerful method for understanding stress and managing tension and energy, shows us how to recognize and address the signs of excessive stress and stress cycles in children (and ourselves).