In my last post I discussed grief and loss, and after writing that post I went back to read some of the things I had written. I came to realize that my writing was only the beginning of the healing process.
Years after my losses when I thought I had healed I began to practice yoga, and in my practice I found mindfulness. Mindfulness helped me heal in ways I didn’t know were possible. I have come to realize that my healing process began with my writing, with expressing and articulating how I felt. Mindfulness has continued a healing process that I had thought was over.
I now understand that my days, weeks and years will continue and every so often my grief monster will come out of nowhere. I am never prepared for when this monster attacks but I now have tools to defend myself with. Mindfulness has taught me how to be present in the moment. Mindfulness has also taught me compassion, acceptance and non-judgment.
Although I will never forget what has happened to my friends, my grief monster has begun to attack less because I am living more in the present moment and not in the past. I have come to accept that my losses may have been brutal and unexpected but losing people you care for is a part of life. I have always had compassion for others but I have now learned that I also need to have compassion for myself. It is harder for me to be compassionate towards myself but I am working on it. Finally I have learned not to judge myself. If something triggers me and I feel like crying, I let myself cry no matter where I am and who I am with. The more I hold things in the more they affect me and my loved ones.
For mindfulness resources and exercises check out our mindfulness page.